My name is S+anni Segu//, & I-m an ama+eur his+ory buff. I made +his b/og 2 +a/k abou+ some of my favori+e =con+rover+ia/= his+orica/ pieces. I +a/k a /o+ about +he SANGUINE REV9LUTI9N, but not e*ac+/y in a way any1 in +he church wou/d approve of. If you don-+ wan+ 2 read my s+uff, +hen b/ock +he +ag =superiorconductor=. +hanks!

((This is a blog associated with the Homestuck fan adventure "Be the Sea Dweller Lowblood," an AU in which the Sufferer fought to reverse rather than abolish the hemospectrum, and won. It consists of historical materials--some more accurate, some less--that were left out of the in-universe religious canon on the Sufferer and his revolution.))

November 18th
20:38
Rude. =|
I-ve never heard of =strivalry= be4, but there have been lots of trolls who have tried 2 invent =extra= quadrants in the past. Which is stupid, because then they wouldn-t be =quadrants= anymore.
Some of the earliest records of proposed =extra= quadrants date back 2 the Sufferer-s time, so the concept itself isn-t new. There are some documents in the apocrypha that even claim the Sufferer Himself had relationships in some of these =extra= quadrants. Since a vast majority of the documents on the Sufferer, even the non canonical texts that have no reason 2 make Him look good, say He stuck 2 how vow of chastity, he probably wasn-t involved in any extra quadrants any more than he was in the basic 4. So those claims were probably made up 2 make the extra quadrants look better.
But, there have never been any extra quadrants that stuck, because quadrants aren-t things you can make up. They-re just things that are. Trying to make up new quadrants is like trying to make up new emotions.
Or something like that? I don-t know, ask somebody who knows how quadrants work. Anyway, I haven-t heard of =strivalry= and I don-t know anybody else who has.
I don-t know what the =official= stance would be. It-s like, does somebody make up rules about what quadrants or legal? I guess the closest thing 2 an official stance is the drones, and they only care about the flushed and caliginous quadrants.
This is a history blog, so, I-m not really sure why you-re asking me about this. But I guess I can answer non history questions if I know enough about them.

Rude. =|

I-ve never heard of =strivalry= be4, but there have been lots of trolls who have tried 2 invent =extra= quadrants in the past. Which is stupid, because then they wouldn-t be =quadrants= anymore.

Some of the earliest records of proposed =extra= quadrants date back 2 the Sufferer-s time, so the concept itself isn-t new. There are some documents in the apocrypha that even claim the Sufferer Himself had relationships in some of these =extra= quadrants. Since a vast majority of the documents on the Sufferer, even the non canonical texts that have no reason 2 make Him look good, say He stuck 2 how vow of chastity, he probably wasn-t involved in any extra quadrants any more than he was in the basic 4. So those claims were probably made up 2 make the extra quadrants look better.

But, there have never been any extra quadrants that stuck, because quadrants aren-t things you can make up. They-re just things that are. Trying to make up new quadrants is like trying to make up new emotions.

Or something like that? I don-t know, ask somebody who knows how quadrants work. Anyway, I haven-t heard of =strivalry= and I don-t know anybody else who has.

I don-t know what the =official= stance would be. It-s like, does somebody make up rules about what quadrants or legal? I guess the closest thing 2 an official stance is the drones, and they only care about the flushed and caliginous quadrants.

This is a history blog, so, I-m not really sure why you-re asking me about this. But I guess I can answer non history questions if I know enough about them.

November 11th
17:58
Oh, no, there were like, NO major nobles at all! It was like suddenly, for fifty sweeps, the aristocracy just completely vanished! Which is why Jegus-s army took over so easily. It was because all the nobles had disappeared. It was totally crazy.
Just kidding. Of course there were nobles, what kind of a question is that? It-s not like the violet bloods had some kind of chaotic war torn busted empire where they couldn-t get anything done. In fact, after the REV9LUTI9N, the structure of the empire that the sea dwellers set up was kept the same. It changed a lot over time, but initially, it was the best system the gold bloods could come up with.
I guess I don-t know if you-re trying 2 ask something more specific?
Because I mean, yeah. Of course there were nobles. What else do I say 2 that?

Oh, no, there were like, NO major nobles at all! It was like suddenly, for fifty sweeps, the aristocracy just completely vanished! Which is why Jegus-s army took over so easily. It was because all the nobles had disappeared. It was totally crazy.

Just kidding. Of course there were nobles, what kind of a question is that? It-s not like the violet bloods had some kind of chaotic war torn busted empire where they couldn-t get anything done. In fact, after the REV9LUTI9N, the structure of the empire that the sea dwellers set up was kept the same. It changed a lot over time, but initially, it was the best system the gold bloods could come up with.

I guess I don-t know if you-re trying 2 ask something more specific?

Because I mean, yeah. Of course there were nobles. What else do I say 2 that?

17:36
LOL, BS!! You don-t even have a real IND account! Troll harder, bro.
I-ve got like a 1,000,000 asks saying stuff like this, but I posted yours because you-re the first 2 pretend 2 be an actual IND so far. So for every1 let me clarify this now:
I can-t be monitored or punished for =blasphemy.= Blaspheming against ANY religion isn-t illegal. All I-m doing is trying 2 bring 2 light some historical facts & religious documents that are in the public domain but that aren-t common knowledge. I-m not doing anything illegal. I checked.
You can-t even argue that blaspheming specifically against Jegus could be interpreted as slander against the Advisier. I checked that 2, & found this news quote from almost 1 sweep ago:

MA: So, do you have any plans of taking the Church’s recommendation to add “slander or libel against an Imperious’s ancestor” to the list of crimes which count as verbal treason?
KV: OH HELL FUCKING NO.
MA: You seem pretty firm on this.
KV: YOU THINK?
MA: Would you like to share why?
KV: FUCKING DELIGHTED TO. FIRST OFF, IF I WERE TO DO THAT, IT WOULD BE PRETTY FUCKING BLATANTLY INTENDED TO PREVENT PEOPLE FROM BADMOUTHING HIM [Jegus Kryst], SINCE IT’S NOT LIKE THERE ARE ANY OTHER IMPERIOI RUNNING AROUND WITH BIG-SHOT ANCESTORS THAT PEOPLE WANT TO TAKE POTSHOTS AT. SO IF I CHANGED THE LAW LIKE THAT, THERE’S PRETTY MUCH NO WAY THAT WOULDN’T BE MIXING RELIGION AND POLITICS. AN IDEA WHICH IS, ON THE ONE HAND, ILLEGAL, AND ON THE OTHER HAND, RETARDED.
SECOND, WHY THE FUCK DO I CARE IF ANYBODY DISSES HIM? HE ISN’T ONE OF THE CURRENT IMPERIOI. HE PREDATES RECUPERACOONS, FOR FUCK’S SAKE. HIS REPUTATION HAS ABSOLUTELY NO BEARING WHATSOEVER ON CURRENT POLITICS.
AND THIRD, WHAT THE HELL WOULD “SLANDER AND LIBEL” BE DEFINED AS FOR SOMEBODY WE DON’T ACTUALLY KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT? AND A RELIGIOUS FIGURE, NO LESS? TO A BELIEVER, SAYING “HE ACTUALLY DID HIS DUTY TO THE DRONES LIKE EVERYONE ELSE” INSULTS HIS CHASTITY; TO A NON-BELIEVER, SAYING “HE DIED A VIRGIN” INSULTS HIS ROMANTIC COMPETENCY. TRYING TO DEFINE “SLANDER AND LIBEL” FOR HIM WOULD NECESSITATE LEGALLY DEFINING HIM AS EITHER MORTAL OR DIVINE, WHICH WOULD BE THE GOVERNMENT TRYING TO DECLARE WHAT’S TRUE ABOUT RELIGION. WHICH IS NOT THE GOVERNMENT’S FUCKING JOB.
MA: What do you say to claims that the Sufferer’s reputation could reflect back on you?
KV: I SAY THAT ANYBODY WHO HONESTLY EXPECTS ME TO RAISE THE DEAD BY RAPPING AT A CORPSE IS GOING TO BE UNBELIEVABLY DISAPPOINTED. WHAT HE WAS REPUTED TO BE LIKE AND DO HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT I’M LIKE AND WHAT I DO.
MA: Be that as it may, there are many trolls who associate you with Him anyway. In their case, they would understand any slander against the Sufferer as slander against you. What concerns do you have about slander against your ancestor that reaches this audience?
KV: NONE. IT’S THEIR PROBLEM, NOT MINE. IF THEY DON’T HAVE THE MINIMAL COMMON SENSE NEEDED TO COMPREHEND THAT A TROLL WHO DIED A MILLION FUCKING SWEEPS AGO IS A DIFFERENT TROLL FROM ONE HATCHED TEN SWEEPS AGO, THEN THEY DON’T HAVE THE MINIMAL COMMON SENSE NEEDED TO BE A THREAT.
MA: The Church can’t be pleased by your stance.
KV: AGAIN, THEIR PROBLEM, NOT MINE. EVERYONE’S FREE TO KEEP ON SAYING WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY WANT ABOUT HIM.
MA: “Him” meaning the Sufferer?
KV: WHO ELSE, TROLL WILL SMITH? BUT I FUCKING SWEAR TO GOG, THE NEXT PERSON TO SEND ME PORN OF HIM IS GETTING THEIR HANDS CUT OFF.”
MA: “Of him” meaning “of the Sufferer” or “of Troll Will Smith”?
KV: ARE YOU STUPID? TELL ME YOU’RE NOT THIS STUPID. I MEANT THE FIRST ONE.
MA: Is there that much porn of Him floating around?
KV: IS THAT A SERIOUS QUESTION?
MA: Of course.
KV: I’M SORRY. MY BAD. I DIDN’T REALIZE YOU’VE NEVER BEEN ON THE FUCKING INTERNET BEFORE.

As a side note, Advisier Vantas is the only contemporary troll I-ve ever seen use the word =gog,= although I-ve seen him use =god= too. =Gog= has a really weird etymology, I-ll cover it sometime.
Anyway, that covers that. This blog is totally legal. =) The Advisier & Replicus himself says so.

LOL, BS!! You don-t even have a real IND account! Troll harder, bro.

I-ve got like a 1,000,000 asks saying stuff like this, but I posted yours because you-re the first 2 pretend 2 be an actual IND so far. So for every1 let me clarify this now:

I can-t be monitored or punished for =blasphemy.= Blaspheming against ANY religion isn-t illegal. All I-m doing is trying 2 bring 2 light some historical facts & religious documents that are in the public domain but that aren-t common knowledge. I-m not doing anything illegal. I checked.

You can-t even argue that blaspheming specifically against Jegus could be interpreted as slander against the Advisier. I checked that 2, & found this news quote from almost 1 sweep ago:

MA: So, do you have any plans of taking the Church’s recommendation to add “slander or libel against an Imperious’s ancestor” to the list of crimes which count as verbal treason?

KV: OH HELL FUCKING NO.

MA: You seem pretty firm on this.

KV: YOU THINK?

MA: Would you like to share why?

KV: FUCKING DELIGHTED TO. FIRST OFF, IF I WERE TO DO THAT, IT WOULD BE PRETTY FUCKING BLATANTLY INTENDED TO PREVENT PEOPLE FROM BADMOUTHING HIM [Jegus Kryst], SINCE IT’S NOT LIKE THERE ARE ANY OTHER IMPERIOI RUNNING AROUND WITH BIG-SHOT ANCESTORS THAT PEOPLE WANT TO TAKE POTSHOTS AT. SO IF I CHANGED THE LAW LIKE THAT, THERE’S PRETTY MUCH NO WAY THAT WOULDN’T BE MIXING RELIGION AND POLITICS. AN IDEA WHICH IS, ON THE ONE HAND, ILLEGAL, AND ON THE OTHER HAND, RETARDED.

SECOND, WHY THE FUCK DO I CARE IF ANYBODY DISSES HIM? HE ISN’T ONE OF THE CURRENT IMPERIOI. HE PREDATES RECUPERACOONS, FOR FUCK’S SAKE. HIS REPUTATION HAS ABSOLUTELY NO BEARING WHATSOEVER ON CURRENT POLITICS.

AND THIRD, WHAT THE HELL WOULD “SLANDER AND LIBEL” BE DEFINED AS FOR SOMEBODY WE DON’T ACTUALLY KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT? AND A RELIGIOUS FIGURE, NO LESS? TO A BELIEVER, SAYING “HE ACTUALLY DID HIS DUTY TO THE DRONES LIKE EVERYONE ELSE” INSULTS HIS CHASTITY; TO A NON-BELIEVER, SAYING “HE DIED A VIRGIN” INSULTS HIS ROMANTIC COMPETENCY. TRYING TO DEFINE “SLANDER AND LIBEL” FOR HIM WOULD NECESSITATE LEGALLY DEFINING HIM AS EITHER MORTAL OR DIVINE, WHICH WOULD BE THE GOVERNMENT TRYING TO DECLARE WHAT’S TRUE ABOUT RELIGION. WHICH IS NOT THE GOVERNMENT’S FUCKING JOB.

MA: What do you say to claims that the Sufferer’s reputation could reflect back on you?

KV: I SAY THAT ANYBODY WHO HONESTLY EXPECTS ME TO RAISE THE DEAD BY RAPPING AT A CORPSE IS GOING TO BE UNBELIEVABLY DISAPPOINTED. WHAT HE WAS REPUTED TO BE LIKE AND DO HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT I’M LIKE AND WHAT I DO.

MA: Be that as it may, there are many trolls who associate you with Him anyway. In their case, they would understand any slander against the Sufferer as slander against you. What concerns do you have about slander against your ancestor that reaches this audience?

KV: NONE. IT’S THEIR PROBLEM, NOT MINE. IF THEY DON’T HAVE THE MINIMAL COMMON SENSE NEEDED TO COMPREHEND THAT A TROLL WHO DIED A MILLION FUCKING SWEEPS AGO IS A DIFFERENT TROLL FROM ONE HATCHED TEN SWEEPS AGO, THEN THEY DON’T HAVE THE MINIMAL COMMON SENSE NEEDED TO BE A THREAT.

MA: The Church can’t be pleased by your stance.

KV: AGAIN, THEIR PROBLEM, NOT MINE. EVERYONE’S FREE TO KEEP ON SAYING WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY WANT ABOUT HIM.

MA: “Him” meaning the Sufferer?

KV: WHO ELSE, TROLL WILL SMITH? BUT I FUCKING SWEAR TO GOG, THE NEXT PERSON TO SEND ME PORN OF HIM IS GETTING THEIR HANDS CUT OFF.”

MA: “Of him” meaning “of the Sufferer” or “of Troll Will Smith”?

KV: ARE YOU STUPID? TELL ME YOU’RE NOT THIS STUPID. I MEANT THE FIRST ONE.

MA: Is there that much porn of Him floating around?

KV: IS THAT A SERIOUS QUESTION?

MA: Of course.

KV: I’M SORRY. MY BAD. I DIDN’T REALIZE YOU’VE NEVER BEEN ON THE FUCKING INTERNET BEFORE.

As a side note, Advisier Vantas is the only contemporary troll I-ve ever seen use the word =gog,= although I-ve seen him use =god= too. =Gog= has a really weird etymology, I-ll cover it sometime.

Anyway, that covers that. This blog is totally legal. =) The Advisier & Replicus himself says so.

15:51

DoctorSmashem, believe it or not, it sounds like you-re talking about the Dolorosa folktale, so I just combined these 2 questions together. =)

Probably almost all of you reading know about Dolorosa as the supposed =1st rainbow drinker,= but I-m going 2 talk about her early historical context be4 I get 2 that.

Read More

11:30
Oh my gosh I-m so sorry! I-ll change it immediately, I promise! I didn-t mean 2 offend you! =(
Is this better? I-m sorry, I-m not very educated, I guess I just didn-t know what would be annoying for some1 who actually knows how 2 read. I asked Medena if this is less annoying, & she said yes. Is this okay?
I didn-t want 2 insult you or anything. Please don-t cull me.
… Now I can-t figure out how 2 use any math signs except the minus sign. I sound so negative…

Oh my gosh I-m so sorry! I-ll change it immediately, I promise! I didn-t mean 2 offend you! =(

Is this better? I-m sorry, I-m not very educated, I guess I just didn-t know what would be annoying for some1 who actually knows how 2 read. I asked Medena if this is less annoying, & she said yes. Is this okay?

I didn-t want 2 insult you or anything. Please don-t cull me.

… Now I can-t figure out how 2 use any math signs except the minus sign. I sound so negative…

November 8th
13:15
I guess I-m kind of worried abou+ i+. But I figure +ha+, even a+ +he very wors+, +here wi// a/ways be researchers who need s+rong /owb/oods 2 he/p +hem dig up ruins & s+uff. +hey-d probab/y prefer some1 who-s had some e*perience digging up ruins be4, & I-ve he/ped Scho/eviscera+or Cogi+a. P/us, I-d be actua//y in+eres+ed in wha+ we found, no+ jus+ doing i+ 4 +he paycheck!
So hopefu//y I can do +ha+.

I guess I-m kind of worried abou+ i+. But I figure +ha+, even a+ +he very wors+, +here wi// a/ways be researchers who need s+rong /owb/oods 2 he/p +hem dig up ruins & s+uff. +hey-d probab/y prefer some1 who-s had some e*perience digging up ruins be4, & I-ve he/ped Scho/eviscera+or Cogi+a. P/us, I-d be actua//y in+eres+ed in wha+ we found, no+ jus+ doing i+ 4 +he paycheck!

So hopefu//y I can do +ha+.

12:57
I-m no+ +aking any o+her /ive c/asses from any scho/eviscera+ors or educaradica+ors righ+ now. I on/y ge+ 2 go 2 /ive c/asses when Medena signs me up 2 +ake a c/ass wi+h her, 2 he/p carry her books & s+uff. Even +hough I-m jus+ indigo, +he schoo/hive she was going 2 was okay wi+h i+ because I was rea//y on/y +here 2 be a servan+, & since I kep+ fai/ing +he c/asses she +ook me 2 i+ isn-+ /ike I was /earning any+hing anyway.
Bu+ since I passed Scho/eviscera+or Cogi+a-s c/ass, +hey go+ nervous & asked her no+ 2 bring me anymore. +hey said I was +aking up a sea+ +ha+ cou/d go 2 a s+uden+ wi+h more 2 offer.
Bu+ I-m s+ill +aking +he manda+ory s+andardized on/ine c/asses jus+ /ike everybody e/se has 2 +ake. I don-+ know +he names of my on/ine educaradica+ors, +hough.

I-m no+ +aking any o+her /ive c/asses from any scho/eviscera+ors or educaradica+ors righ+ now. I on/y ge+ 2 go 2 /ive c/asses when Medena signs me up 2 +ake a c/ass wi+h her, 2 he/p carry her books & s+uff. Even +hough I-m jus+ indigo, +he schoo/hive she was going 2 was okay wi+h i+ because I was rea//y on/y +here 2 be a servan+, & since I kep+ fai/ing +he c/asses she +ook me 2 i+ isn-+ /ike I was /earning any+hing anyway.

Bu+ since I passed Scho/eviscera+or Cogi+a-s c/ass, +hey go+ nervous & asked her no+ 2 bring me anymore. +hey said I was +aking up a sea+ +ha+ cou/d go 2 a s+uden+ wi+h more 2 offer.

Bu+ I-m s+ill +aking +he manda+ory s+andardized on/ine c/asses jus+ /ike everybody e/se has 2 +ake. I don-+ know +he names of my on/ine educaradica+ors, +hough.

12:40
Haha, who-s =her=?
+he canonica/ +e*+s don-+ say much abou+ his upbringing. In fac+, a  passage from +he Gospe/ of /apinear says +ha+ he didn-+ even come from +he brooding caverns:

d HE was begot not from the dark caverns bd but came unto us from the harsh daystar bd whose core was like unto a holy egg bd the fire of which incubated 9UR G9D b
d from where else could HE possibly have come bd HE whose mortal fate was great SUFFERING b
~~ Lapinear 1.5:1-6:2

+ha+-s +he c/oses+ any of +he canonica/ +e*+s ge+ 2 saying how he was ha+ched. & +ha+ passage was cu//ed from +he Gospe/ of /apinear during +he B/ack Reforma+ion, when a/mos+ a// references 2 Jegus being associa+ed wi+h +he sun & /igh+ were removed from +he C9DEX.
+he Gospe/ of /apinear a/so con+ains +he on/y canonica/ descrip+ion of his /usus, or /ack +hereof. She says =d thus HE was was HIS own guardian and charge b / d raising HIMSELF whilst HE HIMSELF was raised b / d for naught but G9D could dare to raise a G9D b= (Lapinear 1.38:7-9). +his has been +radi+iona//y in+erpre+ed 2 mean +ha+ Jegus didn-+ have a /usus a+ a//, bu+ somehow (because of his divine powers or some+hing I guess) raised himse/f.
Bu+ science has some+hing e/se 2 say abou+ +ha+! During Condesce Pecora-s con+roversia/ ru/e, she au+horized a series of e*perimen+s 2 +ry 2 ar+ificia//y rep/ica+e Jegus Krys+-s 6L99D under /abora+ory condi+ions. By +hen, i+ was known wi+hin +he scien+ific communi+y +ha+ Jegus-s 6L99D AND SYM69L come from a mu+a+ed form of a gene found in +ro//s wi+h +he more common green b/ooded varian+ of +he SYM69L. +his gene had a/ready been found & iso/a+ed in o+her +ro//s +ha+ had +he 6L99D bu+ no+ +he SYM69L. Wi+h Pecora-s permission, severa/ gene+icis+s successfu//y crea+ed samp/es of b/ood from green SYM69L +ro//s, wi+h +ha+ one gene changed so +ha+ i+ a/so had Jegus-s SANGUINE 6L99D co/or.
+heir u/+ima+e goa/ was 2 crea+e a c/one, bu+ a// +heir e*perimen+s fai/ed. Nobody had found ou+ ye+ abou+ +he o+her genes a SANGUINE 6L99DED +ro// needs 2 survive wi+h +he defec+ive gene. However, even +hough +hey didn-+ make a c/one, +hey DID make enough 6L99D 2 do some e*perimen+s. 1 of +heir +es+s was 2 see wha+ kind of /usus species wou/d be a++rac+ed 2 i+s scen+.
Wha+ +hey found was +ha+ severa/ species were a++rac+ed 2 +he b/ood:

Most of the species which have shown an interest in the blood are crustacean in nature; with especial interest from crabs and lobsters* Curiously enough; the majority of these species are found in the Oxicem Gulf; half a planet away from where Jegus was believed to have lived* Beyond them are a few large predatory birds; chief among them being the South Nacirema Blackened Sky-beast; which; as it can be found on land in nearly all non-tropical areas; could easily have lived wherever Jegus emerged from the brooding caverns*
~~ anonymous, “A Study on the Empirical and Biological Aspects of SANGUINE 6L99D.”

Since +he on/y known +ro// wi+h +he 6L99D AND SYM69L 2 /ive since Jegus has a /usus from 1 of +he species uncovered by +he s+udy, i+ seems 2 ho/d up pre++y we//.
Fur+her research over +he years in2 +he /usus species iden+ified in +he above s+udy found ou+ +ha+ of +hem, severa/ evo/ved from a common ances+or +ha+ e*is+ed during +he Sufferer-s +ime & even came from +he same par+ of +he p/ane+ as him. +he crab pic+ured above is an ar+is+ic recons+ruc+ion of wha+ +ha+ crab /ooked /ike.
+ha+ par+icu/ar species was hun+ed 2 e*+inc+ion ages ago. I+ was considered a de/icacy by sea dwe//ers, bo+h be4 & af+er Jegus-s +ime. Figures, doesn-+ i+?
I don-+ know if his /usus was par+ of +he SANGUINE REV9LUTI9N, +hough. Since i+-s never men+ioned, probab/y no+. & i+ wou/d have been a rea//y sma// crab.

Haha, who-s =her=?

+he canonica/ +e*+s don-+ say much abou+ his upbringing. In fac+, a  passage from +he Gospe/ of /apinear says +ha+ he didn-+ even come from +he brooding caverns:

d HE was begot not from the dark caverns b
d but came unto us from the harsh daystar b
d whose core was like unto a holy egg b
d the fire of which incubated 9UR G9D b

d from where else could HE possibly have come b
d HE whose mortal fate was great SUFFERING b

~~ Lapinear 1.5:1-6:2

+ha+-s +he c/oses+ any of +he canonica/ +e*+s ge+ 2 saying how he was ha+ched. & +ha+ passage was cu//ed from +he Gospe/ of /apinear during +he B/ack Reforma+ion, when a/mos+ a// references 2 Jegus being associa+ed wi+h +he sun & /igh+ were removed from +he C9DEX.

+he Gospe/ of /apinear a/so con+ains +he on/y canonica/ descrip+ion of his /usus, or /ack +hereof. She says =d thus HE was was HIS own guardian and charge b / d raising HIMSELF whilst HE HIMSELF was raised b / d for naught but G9D could dare to raise a G9D b= (Lapinear 1.38:7-9). +his has been +radi+iona//y in+erpre+ed 2 mean +ha+ Jegus didn-+ have a /usus a+ a//, bu+ somehow (because of his divine powers or some+hing I guess) raised himse/f.

Bu+ science has some+hing e/se 2 say abou+ +ha+! During Condesce Pecora-s con+roversia/ ru/e, she au+horized a series of e*perimen+s 2 +ry 2 ar+ificia//y rep/ica+e Jegus Krys+-s 6L99D under /abora+ory condi+ions. By +hen, i+ was known wi+hin +he scien+ific communi+y +ha+ Jegus-s 6L99D AND SYM69L come from a mu+a+ed form of a gene found in +ro//s wi+h +he more common green b/ooded varian+ of +he SYM69L. +his gene had a/ready been found & iso/a+ed in o+her +ro//s +ha+ had +he 6L99D bu+ no+ +he SYM69L. Wi+h Pecora-s permission, severa/ gene+icis+s successfu//y crea+ed samp/es of b/ood from green SYM69L +ro//s, wi+h +ha+ one gene changed so +ha+ i+ a/so had Jegus-s SANGUINE 6L99D co/or.

+heir u/+ima+e goa/ was 2 crea+e a c/one, bu+ a// +heir e*perimen+s fai/ed. Nobody had found ou+ ye+ abou+ +he o+her genes a SANGUINE 6L99DED +ro// needs 2 survive wi+h +he defec+ive gene. However, even +hough +hey didn-+ make a c/one, +hey DID make enough 6L99D 2 do some e*perimen+s. 1 of +heir +es+s was 2 see wha+ kind of /usus species wou/d be a++rac+ed 2 i+s scen+.

Wha+ +hey found was +ha+ severa/ species were a++rac+ed 2 +he b/ood:

Most of the species which have shown an interest in the blood are crustacean in nature; with especial interest from crabs and lobsters* Curiously enough; the majority of these species are found in the Oxicem Gulf; half a planet away from where Jegus was believed to have lived* Beyond them are a few large predatory birds; chief among them being the South Nacirema Blackened Sky-beast; which; as it can be found on land in nearly all non-tropical areas; could easily have lived wherever Jegus emerged from the brooding caverns*

~~ anonymous, “A Study on the Empirical and Biological Aspects of SANGUINE 6L99D.”

Since +he on/y known +ro// wi+h +he 6L99D AND SYM69L 2 /ive since Jegus has a /usus from 1 of +he species uncovered by +he s+udy, i+ seems 2 ho/d up pre++y we//.

Fur+her research over +he years in2 +he /usus species iden+ified in +he above s+udy found ou+ +ha+ of +hem, severa/ evo/ved from a common ances+or +ha+ e*is+ed during +he Sufferer-s +ime & even came from +he same par+ of +he p/ane+ as him. +he crab pic+ured above is an ar+is+ic recons+ruc+ion of wha+ +ha+ crab /ooked /ike.

+ha+ par+icu/ar species was hun+ed 2 e*+inc+ion ages ago. I+ was considered a de/icacy by sea dwe//ers, bo+h be4 & af+er Jegus-s +ime. Figures, doesn-+ i+?

I don-+ know if his /usus was par+ of +he SANGUINE REV9LUTI9N, +hough. Since i+-s never men+ioned, probab/y no+. & i+ wou/d have been a rea//y sma// crab.

November 6th
23:00

We/come +o my b/og!

Hi! My name is S+anni Segu//, & I-m an ama+eur his+ory buff. I don-+ have +he bes+ educa+ion. I-ve on/y had 6 c/asses in a schoo/hive, & I fai/ed +he firs+ 5, bu+ +he 6+h 1 changed my /ife! Which is why I wan+ 2 /earn as much as I can abou+  his+ory, especia//y abou+ +he SANGUINE SUFFERER-s +ime. Bu+ every+hing I pos+ here is probab/y going 2 be o/d news 2 any1 wi+h a rea/ educa+ion, so, sorry! I guess +his is more of a b/og 4 o+her /owb/oods who don-+ have an oppor+uni+y 2 /earn s+uff /ike +his on +heir own.

I-m 7 sweeps o/d & /ive near +he coas+ wi+h my /usus, who-s a bird. 4 +imes a week I go in/and 2 work 4 Medena Cyprum. She-s +he 1 who /e+ me +ake a schoo/hive c/ass in +he firs+ p/ace! +HANKS MEDENA! <> (bu+ p/a+onica//y)

I a/so wan+ 2 +hank +he scho/eviscera+or who +augh+ +he his+ory c/ass +ha+ +augh+ me so much, & 2 +hank him 4 opening a who/e new wor/d of informa+ion 2 me.

+his is +erinn Cogi+a (or cassiusAssassin), +he bes+ scho/eviscera+or & +he smar+es+ +ro// I-ve ever me+! He +augh+ us a// abou+ +he his+ory of +he SANGUINE REV9LUTI9N, inc/uding a bunch of s+uff +ha+ even +he church i+se/f doesn-+ know abou+! He does a// his own research & has dug up /oads of firs+ hand documen+s abou+ +he revo/u+ion. He even /e+ me come he/p him a+ 1 of his e*cava+ion si+es! I don-+ care if +he mains+ream scho/eviscera+ors DO +hink he-s a g/oryhounding conspiracy +heoris+ who on/y fo//ows wha+ever crackpo+ ideas he +hinks wi// ge+ him +he mos+ a++en+ion. I know +ha+ he-s rea//y a genius.

So, +hank you 4 ge++ing me in+eres+ed in his+ory! Good /uck con+inuing your research back on Surrogia! & if you don-+ come visi+ A/+ernia be4 I move off p/ane+, +hen I /ook 4ward 2 seeing you again on Surrogia!

Anyway, I hope you a// enjoy my b/og on his+ory. If you have any+hing in par+icu/ar you wan+ 2 hear abou+, or if you have any his+orica/ +idbi+s you wan+ 2 share, /e+ me know! +hanks!

S+anni Segu// (superiorConduc+or)